Should My Aspiring Content Creator Pal Cease Using People for Material?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?